Today was a day full of reflection for me in which I had a life changing epiphany…seriously.
I attended the second funeral since my mom’s death when I was 13 ( I’m 24 now). The first one was just a few months ago for my step mother’s mom. At that funeral it was more of a reliving of the grieving that I never did for my mom, so it was a horrible experience, but allowed me to finally let go of guilts and pains that I didn’t have the courage to face before. Today was different though…
John Dennis Lee was a man that spoke positive things over my life since I was a child. I have memories of his mannerisms, his voice, dry humor, and overall very powerful countenance. Having had such an impact on my life and being such a crucial part of my family it was sort of surreal being at his funeral. All was good until his wife went to view the body and nearly collapsed. That’s when I pretty much lost it because it was at that moment that I was the 13 year old girl nearly collapsing as she walked down the center aisle at her mom’s funeral. I felt what she felt and it hurt. Only it was a different kind of hurt…
It was at that moment that I begin to question the point of falling in love. She had been married to him for 30 years and walked through every clause of the wedding vows that so many people take so lightly: for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer,until death do us part. All of that to only lose it and start all over by yourself? Wouldn’t it be better to not love at all than to love and have it taken?
Anyway, that’s not the epiphany just a tangent…
In the end, when the service was over and the tears were shed and the final prayer was said all the randoms departed and it was just the immediate family and friends at the grave site. The casket was lowered…and they began to shovel the dirt on top. That was it.
At that moment, I thought “wow that’s it”. In the end, when the dirt goes on top it doesn’t matter how much money is your bank account, what kind of car you drive, who was in your network, what kind of wardrobe you have…none of that! All that matters is the kind of person you were and the content of your character. When people sit back and reminisce they will be more likely to speak of how gracious or haughty of a person you were before they speak of the leather interior on your Benz.
Lesson Learned: Stop putting so much value, time, and thought into things that don’t matter. Instead, focus on the matters of life that are eternal and live on long after you have physically left the world behind.
The social events and parties shouldn’t replace quality family time. The time spent complaining should be spent finding solutions to problems. The time spent being engulfed in the materialism of our environment should be spent on self improvement.
Sooner rather than later we should decide what means the world to us and live our life in pursuit of things with eternal value. Let us begin to live for our legacy and not a moment.
